Tips To Make Even The Longest Of Long-Distance Relationships Work
Long-distance relationships are quite common, and although some end in heartbreak, some are worth fighting for.
But LDRs don't have to be draining and overwhelming just because you're far away from each other. Here are ways to make your LDR fun, strong, and make you feel closer to your partner than ever.
Share A T-Shirt
Get a large T-shirt and take turns mailing it back and forth to wear. This is a great way to feel physically connected and comforted by your partner. It will carry their smell when you cuddle up in it. Plus, mailing it is a romantic way to have something to look forward to from your partner.
Take Notes, Literally
Be attentive if they mention they have an exam or appointment or event coming up. It's the details that will go a long way.
"In successful relationships, partners generally do not have an out-of-sight, out-of-mind approach," says psychologist Paul Coleman, PsyD.
Write Down The Reasons You Trust Your Partner
Having a written-out list of why you trust your partner will come in handy when you're feeling anxious that your partner hasn't been online in a while. This will also prevent you from sending them a series of anxious texts which could start to add some toxicity to your relationship over time.
Communicate A lot, But Not Excessively
It is nice to talk about the mundane and share your every thought with your partner, but it's important to still have boundaries and not overdo it. You don't want your conversations to get stale and boring from constantly discussing your morning commute to work.
Set Dates To Meet In Person
Knowing when you'll get to see your partner in person again will give you some peace of mind and something to look forward to.
Make sure you don't go longer than three months without visiting, and don't be afraid to plan and go over the top when you see them so you have memories to hold onto until your next visit.
Go On Virtual Dates
Distance shouldn't stop you from still planning and going on dates. Pack a small picnic each, go to the park closest to you, turn on FaceTime and enjoy the way the sun feels on your face with the grass underneath you together.
Sharing sensations takes your date to the next level.
Focus On Yourself IRL
Almost pretend that you're single, go out with your friends, go dancing, go for walks. Don't get too caught up being glued to your phone or laptop, waiting for the next video chat. The whole world is still out there for you.
Make Sure This Is What You Want
Long-distance relationships can take an emotional toll, so make sure that you are making a conscious choice to be in one because you think it's worth it. Ask yourself questions like is your connection and trust strong enough? Is this just temporary, or could it work long-term?
Be Honest When It Feels Like Too Much
Your partner won't be able to read your mind, so if you ever feel overwhelmed, unhappy, or stressed about your relationship, you should take the time to communicate those thoughts to your partner. Just make sure that you if are consistently anxious that you find other ways to cope.
Don't Jump To Conclusions
Train your mind not to jump to conclusions about your partner being away. Don't stress about seeing someone you don't recognize in their photos or get possessive when they go out. Jealousy and irrationality can threaten a relationship.
Hide Little Gifts And Notes Around Their Place
When you finally do get to visit them, try to leave little notes and gifts hidden around their home. Every time they find one, they will surely think of you and it will feel like you never left.
Do Your Routine Together
Just because you're each doing your own thing doesn't mean you can't do it together. Turn on FaceTime while you cook dinner, and talk to each other about what you're making. Don't feel like you're too busy to call, it is all about finding ways to still include your partner in your everyday.
Learn Something New Together
If you have both been wanting to learn a second language, now is a good time. This will give you something to bond over and keep you entertained for hours as you both try to pronounce and butcher the same words together.
Go A Few Days Without Talking
Although the whole point is to not miss them too much, missing your partner a little bit creates longing and excitement. Don't be afraid to go 2–3 days without talking, and take note of all the things you want to tell them when you do get to talk.
You'll be surprised at how much more exciting your next conversation will be.
Pursue Each Other's Interests
Taking an interest in each other's hobbies allows each of you to take turns sharing the things that make you passionate. We are at our happiest when we're doing the things we love most, so creating positive associations between passions and your partner will only make your relationship stronger.
Remind Your Partner Why You Love Them
Who doesn't like compliments? Keep the relationship alive by reminding your partner what makes them so special to you. This will also serve as a reminder to yourself and keep you invested in the long-distance relationship.
Create A Long-Term Plan
Make sure you have a goal in mind to make your LDR work. It is more likely to succeed if you know how long you are doing it for and are working towards an attainable end goal. This also strengthens your relationship by allowing you to explore how you want your relationship to be in the long term.
Set Realistic Expectations Together
It is unrealistic to expect your partner to be available to you 24/7 or constantly update you on who they're with and where they are. To avoid disappointment, sit with your partner and talk out your expectations of each other. That way, you set a standard that you are both comfortable with.
Attend Their Big Events
Being away doesn't mean you have to miss their big events. Surprise them by having someone put you on Skype during their graduation, or even better if you can show up and surprise them in person. Make them feel like what is important to them is also important to you.
Dress Up For Date Nights
It's easy to wear your comfiest clothes when you're cuddled up in bed video-chatting with your partner. Make sure that you don't stop putting in some effort, though. Plan a movie date and dress up for it. Showing effort in the little ways shows effort in big ways in the long haul.
