If you're an adult spending your days alone with your two cats, I can pretty much guarantee that you've got the LACK coffee table and matching end table from Ikea. Don't even try and lie to me. Having an apartment filled with Swedish furniture is basically a staple in every adult's life, but it doesn't come without its struggles.
These people pretty much hit the nail on the head of what it's like to live alone and decorate your place with cheap furniture you built (badly) yourself. These are for anyone who's aspired to HEMNES while they're still stuck at MALM level.
Find Someone Who Complements Your Interests
I like big, strong men, with a bunch of room in their hatchback, and conveniently within 600 yards of an Ikea parking lot. If you can't meet those standards then I'm afraid this will never work.
You're Only There If You're Wasted
Nobody really goes to Ikea if they're not completely out of their minds. You pretty much have to be on a different level to follow those arrows straight into a land where every lamp looks like the one in your parent's basement.
How Do I Buy This Shirt For My Life
Nobody better ask me any hard questions ever because I literally am not capable of dealing with them. Sure, I don't work at Ikea, but if you think about it, we're all temporary in some way so I technically deserve to have that shirt.
*Touches Back Of Couch* "Nice"
"This is nice" and "ooo look at this one" are the only two responses that anyone has ever had to anything they see and like from Ikea. If you only give it the "hmmm" or the "oh okay" then that piece of furniture is a hard no.
Spoiler: That Couch Is FRIHETEN
This is a good way to ruin the tension in a movie and do some light shopping while you're at it. Sure, your friends and family will never want to hang out with you, but at least your space will be well decorated.
Ikea Just Knows What Your Garbage Life Needs
A nacho break is probably the only necessary step in any furniture assembly. Getting the screws put in and making sure your drawers are on correctly pales in comparison to funneling greasy melted cheese into your body.
The Crazy Outlaw Who Takes The Shortcut Behind Kitchen Ware
If you see someone doing this, do not follow them. I repeat, do not follow them. They're going off the rails on a crazy train and they have no idea what they're doing, no matter how intently they appear to be looking at the lamps around them.
This Glorious Advertisement
This Ikea billboard was, in many ways, a fantastic piece of advertising because it reminds you exactly why you're buying a leather couch. Easy cleaning with a Clorox wipe, obviously.
They Cut & Hung Up Their Ikea Curtain Drunk And It Looks Exactly Like You'd Expect
Yeah, well done considering they did this when they were hammered. It could've been a lot worse so I'm checking this one off as a success. Sure, they could've done this sober and had it be perfect, but that's not really an option when you're assembling furniture.
The Only Realistic Ikea Instructions
If you haven't lost your soul and required a 72-hour depression nap along the way while building a piece of Ikea furniture then you never really had the true experience. That's just the truth, man.
Can We Understand The Instructions? No. Will That Stop Us From Buying? Also No.
When you build enough Ikea items you begin to think in Ikea instructions. When your two cats are fighting with each other, you're thinking of visual queues and Swedish buzzwords they can understand to really resolve that conflict at the source—the feeding dish.
If Your ULVIDE Doesn't Match Your NIEDEN What Are You Even Doing
Yeah, babe, anything to impress you. Only real men with their lives together can color-coordinate their ESPEVÄR to their BJÖRKSNAS. Just trying to show you that I can provide almost stable furniture that reflects the mostly not-chaotic relationship we could have together. Xoxo.
The Instructions Really? Suck?
Screw? No, hammer that little bad boy in there and see what happens. Even though your screwdriver, the hole, the screw itself, and your dad on your phone who you called because you were breaking down while you built this chair say no, Ikea says yes. Just do it, the power of Sweden compels you.
Relationship Problems? Save Them For Ikea Babe
I honestly think that most people save their marital disagreements for the carpet aisle, I really do. There's something about those white lights and plentiful choices of what poly-synthetic blended fibers you can get that rug in that really bring out the psycho in all of us.
Ikea Help Me
If these actually existed it would be a lot better for all of us. But like building furniture, we'd only read them 50% of the time, and when we do read them we're not super confident in what we're supposed to be doing, but we're not going to change the way we're doing it just in case it works out.
When Your LACK Coffee Table Breaks And You Become This Kid
If you're a cheap person (obviously because you're shopping at Ikea), then you've done this. Don't even bother lying because these LACK tables break like twice a year. Do you know what lasts forever? Being hungry and needing a place to eat, so on your lap that broken sucker goes.
Does This Mean The Swedish Think We're Stupid?
Nobody would ever believe this monster costs 50 cents. To finish this half-eaten big boy would cost you life, limb, and probably your entire digestive tract. Bon appetit you sensible shopper.
The Ikea Gods Make Another Miracle Happen
Whoever threw these out obviously saw that there were more in-store deals that resonated with them harder than their chronic pain and mobility issues. It rarely happens, it actually never does, but Ikea can work miracles. The miracle is if you can actually get the piece of furniture assembled.
There Was A Monkey At One Point
Remember when the Ikea monkey was a thing? Yes? The little monkey in a coat that was found wandering around an Ikea parking lot in Canada that broke the internet and was on every news channel ever? If you're a real lonely Ikea fan you've got its picture hanging above your HEMNES bed.
Even Boomers Are Getting Into It
These people actually loaded their car like this and proceeded to drive away. Is this safe? No. Is this cool? No. Is this a couch that's great for hosting and really ties the entire crisp Swedish-decorated room together? Absolutely.