Tweets That Prove The Person Sabotaging Your Love Life Is You

Sometimes you're single because of circumstances that are out of your control: the guy you're seeing turns out to be a jerk, timing is wrong, there's distance, etc. In those situations, there is nothing you can do to fix the problem. You just have to move on.

However, sometimes there is an aggressive saboteur in your life who dissembles any good thing you have going with a romantic interest, and sometimes it's yourself. These are some tweets that are way too relatable if you're the person ruining your own love life.

Well, Would You? I Need Answers

Guys will literally just be chilling when you spring an intense hypothetical on them. But seriously, if I had no nose, would you love me? Would you have wanted me? You wouldn't, I know it...

Girl questions if boyfriend would talk to her if she was 6'4'' and had no nose
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ecogggswell
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ecogggswell
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I Am In This Photo And I Don't Like It

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The number of times I have complained about being single or not being asked on dates is astronomical, but even higher is the number of times I've come up with a fake excuse to flake on a date just so I could watch Netflix alone in bed.

Tweet: yes I complain about being single yes I also flop on every single guy who's ever asked me to hang out just to stay home and smoke. We exist
Photo Credit: Twitter / @daniellemaria99
Photo Credit: Twitter / @daniellemaria99
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You Die A Hero Or Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Villain

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There's nothing worse than waking up to find that you've become the one evil you had always opposed: being a frat boy who wants everything a relationship entails without having to commit.

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today i really said "i want to do relationship things without a relationship" and that's when i realized I'M the f boy. Reevaluating
Photo Credit: Twitter / @dxxnya
Photo Credit: Twitter / @dxxnya
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Too Chaotic For Love 99% Of The Time

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Listen, I love being single. I live it up on the weekend and wild out as often as possible, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I occasionally lie in bed, wanting to be cuddled while listening to "Fallin'" by Alicia Keys.

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Untitled design (12)
Photo Credit: Twitter / @jabookie
Photo Credit: Twitter / @jabookie
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"Of Course I Trust You, Babe"

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The finsta can get so dangerous, especially when someone sends your man screenshots of you admitting to borderline crazy behavior and jealousy issues that aren't particularly warranted. Oops, sorry for almost ruining the relationship.

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tweet: when he shows you your finsta post where you said you almost hacked into his iCloud because he didn't text you back and you thought he might be with his ex
Photo Credit: Twitter / @schnitt_talk
Photo Credit: Twitter / @schnitt_talk
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Men Are Just Tools For My Ego Boost

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Okay, so I know this is probably not the best way to treat people, but I love the dopamine rush I get when a guy is interested in me even if I have no intention of ever actually dating or hooking up with him.

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Tweet: I keep an excel sheet of all the boys I send thirst traps to ranking who is most likely to give me the biggest ego boost so I can maximize my dopamine fix and this is the most beneficial thing I've gotten out of my business degree
Photo Credit: Twitter / @EwdatsGROSS
Photo Credit: Twitter / @EwdatsGROSS
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🙃

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Sometimes you have to look back at a relationship and your borderline psychotic behavior towards the person who broke up with you and admit, "you know what, I was the problem."

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Tweet: guess who woke up with 17 missed calls from their ex today? my ex.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @minwoosama
Photo Credit: Twitter / @minwoosama
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You Mean I Have To... Reciprocate And Be Vulnerable?

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We're all out here wanting to be adored, but it's absolutely gross that I'm expected to return those feelings and be open about myself? No thank you. This is not what I signed up for.

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Tweet: Just realized that in order to receive affection i also have to show affection back and actually open up to people *disgusted pick*
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ULTRAGLOSS
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ULTRAGLOSS
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So Dramatic That I Don't Know How To Act

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I could take accountability for the ways in which I'm complicit for the series of disasters that is my life, or I could blast Lana Del Ray while wearing a bathrobe and staring out into the distance.

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Photo of person lying in puddle while it's raining captioned: this is how dramatic I am when I ruin my own life by being crazy
Photo Credit: Twitter / @schnitt_talk
Photo Credit: Twitter / @schnitt_talk
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Ah Yes, Let's Overthink And Obsess About His Past

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Honestly, it's so disrespectful for a guy I'm seeing to have ever dated other girls before he met me. Now I have to aggressively stalk his exes on Instagram and worry that they are prettier than me and think he's still in love with all of them!

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Tweet: 12:17 am time to think about all the girls my boyfriend f'ed before me
Photo Credit: Twitter / @greenbeangrrl
Photo Credit: Twitter / @greenbeangrrl
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Say I'm Sorry? For The Thing I Was Wrong About? Nah

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I get that relationships are supposed to include mutual forgiveness and all that jazz, but I am a stubborn idiot who will go to the grave saying I'm right even if the receipts prove otherwise.

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Tweet: reads "apologize or die" then Women: *shows photo of a woman smiling in a casket*
Photo Credit: Twitter / @KaraboRiley
Photo Credit: Twitter / @KaraboRiley
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Being Stable And Normal Is So Boring

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Hear me out on this one: would I probably be better off if I stopped sabotaging every relationship that makes me happy? Maybe. Would I have as many stories to tell at brunch with the girls? Definitely not.

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Therapist: have you considered maybe not sabotaging your own life? Me: BORING!
Photo Credit: Twitter / @kaiteasley
Photo Credit: Twitter / @kaiteasley
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Just Met Him? Time To Overshare

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Truly, there are times where I'm hanging out with a guy who's into me and then my brain does the crazy thing. Next thing you know, I'm saying something like: "...and that's why I have never believed that I am worthy of love."

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Girl jokes that she talks to random guys about emotions because he will listen just because he wants to hookup
Photo Credit: Twitter / @EwdatsGROSS
Photo Credit: Twitter / @EwdatsGROSS
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"I Know He's Garbage... Oh, Wait! This Is His House"

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There are a handful of Uber drivers out there who know way too much of my dirt. I'm just waiting for the day that I get the same one so he'll ask why he's driving me to Matt's house again.

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Tweet: is there anything more spiritual than the talk u have with your uber driver about how bad a guy is for you right before he drops you off at that guys place?
Photo Credit: Twitter / @holy_schnitt
Photo Credit: Twitter / @holy_schnitt
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This Is A Foolproof System

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We get it: you should leave the person who is giving off intense red flags, but what if I instead ignored the logical course of action and turned a blind eye to his toxic characteristics because his hair is very soft?

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Tweet: I give every guy I date a 3 red flag rule. The rule is if I find three or more red flags then i become colorblind for the remainder of our toxic relationship
Photo Credit: Twitter / @matchu_chutrain
Photo Credit: Twitter / @matchu_chutrain
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What If I Let Myself Fall Back Into Destructive Habits... Haha JK... Unless?

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Yes, I could avoid the temptation of a scenario that will definitely leave me feeling worse about myself, OR I could throw away all the progress I made over the past year for a guy who peaked in high school.

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The guy I had an unhealthy obsessive crush on my entire childhood and all of high school just Snapchat me that he's going to be in town soon without his wife and we should hang out, like this is some kind of bad tv movie and I would actually say yes
Photo Credit: Twitter / @clur19
Photo Credit: Twitter / @clur19
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R.I.P. To The Instagram Following Tab

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If you say that scrolling through the "Following" activity page on Instagram to see what guys were liking wasn't a guilty pleasure of yours, I know you're a liar. The number of fights I could've started with my boyfriend-who-isn't-my-boyfriend-yet...

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Girl is mad she never got to fight with her nonexistent boyfriend about his instagram likes
Photo Credit: Twitter / @holy_schnitt
Photo Credit: Twitter / @holy_schnitt
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Self-Care Is Overrated—Bring On The Chaos

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My life is just me oscillating between being a reasonable, responsible human who is looking for a long-term partner and being a messy, lawless masochist who shoots a 1 a.m. text to a guy who has ruined my life multiple times.

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Tweet: Self care is cancelled I'm ready to start taking Xanax and talking to boys bad for my self esteem again
Photo Credit: Twitter / @EwdatsGROSS
Photo Credit: Twitter / @EwdatsGROSS
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"Why Don't Guys Ever Talk To Me?"

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For a brief moment, I will admit to my complicity in my struggle to meet men. I always say that I want to be hit on, and then literally run away every time a man gets within two feet of me.

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Girl compares how receptive she is to female attention compared to male
Photo Credit: Twitter / @estherannaa
Photo Credit: Twitter / @estherannaa
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In Summary, This Is A Photo Of All The Girls Who Found This Article Relatable

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Welcome to the club, sis. You are a self-sabotaging idiot who either chooses toxic men or ruins perfectly good relationships just like the rest of us. Come climb into the clown car—we're going to get mimosas.

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Picture of clowns captions "me and all my friends after we all cry over our toxic relationships together
Photo Credit: Twitter / @vanessfyfe
Photo Credit: Twitter / @vanessfyfe
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